Now That Is Fucking Teamwork

Greetings all, and welcome to another exciting adventure from my boring, mundane existence.

Today, I'm at work mowing, and bored out of my fucking mind. I'm working a little overtime to help pay some bills, and finance my trip to San Diego for the Comicon. For those of you who don't know, I work maintenance at the local airport, so overtime consists almost solely of mowing grass on the airfield. It's really not that bad, I ride around in a big John Deere tractor, pulling a bushhog around. The tractor's air conditioned, and it has a radio, so comfort isn't a problem, it all comes down to boredom. I drive around in circles for hours, it's like the slowest one-man NASCAR race in history. It's a seemingly endless spiral, round and round the same damn field, with the same damn shit to look at over and over.

Enough bitching though, right? Today, as I'm driving around, there's this hawk that keeps dropping down from his perch and sitting in my damn way. At first I thought he was pissed at me for invading his turf, but he always went back up in the air long before I got to him. Eventually, I realised he was waiting for me to kick up some food for him. We've got a pretty bad mole problem at the airport, and I gotta admit I wouldn't be the least bit sad to see this hawk choke a few of them down. So the next time I came around I made sure to drop a tire right over the top of a mole burrow, and send the little bastards running.

Only one mole came out, and I saw him take off across the field. He only made it about 20 ft. before my boy, the hawk, came swooping down and snatched his ass up. It was awesome. I've never wanted to high five an animal so much in my life.

What I'm doing tonight
Watching: Shaft (It's research, I never realized how incredibly long that opening sequence is, it fuckin' rocks)
Eating: Grilled cheese with pickles and mustard (yes, I really do eat those)
Drinking: McCormack and Coke (McCormack is incredibly cheap whisky{My mom always said, "McCormack isn't whiskey, it's watered down Everclear and food coloring."[Yes, these are the kind of wisdom nuggets my mother dispenses]})

Man, do I love parentheticals.

I'm gonna go get drunk now,
HURLEY

Two weeks!?! (All Class 2)

Yeah, okay, so i'm not real good at this timeliness thing, or this proper grammar thing, but I'm back!

I wish I had more time to post, but my friend Peter just called and told me he'd been bit on the head by a spider. God only knows how that happened, but now I have to go to work early so he can head to the emergency room. The pansy.

The one thing I really wanted to get posted was this


All Class - Episode Two - It Must Be All The Hormones They Feed The Cows

P1: Hurley is talking to an attractive young woman. He leans on the wall next to her, and is obviously putting his mack on.
H: How you doin’?

P2: Deadman walks up with an equally attractive, equally young looking woman.
D: Hey Hurley, I want you to meet my sister Cindy.
D: I see you’ve already met my niece, Brittany.

P3: Cindy talks to her daughter, as Hurley looks on in horror, and Deadman gives him a death glare.
C: Hey sweetie, you got your homework done, right?
B: Yes, mom.

P4: Hurley looks at Deadman, who keeps up his death glare.
H: Mom?
D: Fourteen, asshole, fourteen.

See ya'll on the flipside,
HURLEY