It's just barely Wednesday, Gimme a Break (All Class 9)

All Class - Episode Nine - Porn, ‘Nuff Said

P1: Deadman and Hurley sit and watch the tube, as Louise comes storming out of the bedroom.
L: Hey Deadman, guess what I found in the DVD player this morning.
H: Busted!

P2: Louise screams her accusations at Deadman, while Hurley tries in vain to stifle his laughter.
L: Porn! I found porn, D! What? I’m suddenly not enough for you?
H: Pfft.
L: Stay out of it, Hurley!

P3: Louise looks at Hurley in shock as he launches into a diatribe. Deadman, as usual covers his face, ashamed that his best friend is such a colossal douche.
H: Actually, Lou, I think I can explain Deadman’s feelings on this one.
H: Every once in a while a guy has an urge to see a little blonde get blasted in the ass by a gigantic black dude. Since you’re not the kind of girl who enjoys getting her ass blasted, and DM’s not a big black man, he has to satisfy those urges some other way.

P4: Louise holds up a copy of “Big Black Ass Blasters Vol. 9”
L: This is yours isn’t it.
H: Of course.

So I missed a Tuesday. Sue me. (All Class 7)

All Class - Episode Seven - Line up

P1: Hurley stands in line for the bathroom chatting with the guy behind him.
Dude: Aw man, one holer, huh?
H: Nope.

P2: Hurley turns to face the other dude. Behind him the bathroom finally opens up.
H: There’s two in there, but they’re more than a little close.

P3: Hurley enters the bathroom, and calls back over his shoulder.
H: I’ll squeeze over if you wanna man up.

P4: The door swings shut behind Hurley, and no one follows.

It's Tuesday, And I Think We All Know What That Means. (All Class 6)

All Class - Episode Six - In Da Club

P1: Hurley and Deadman sit at a swanky strip club watching the stage show. Deadman sits back sipping on his drink. Hurley leans forward for a better look, clutching a fistful of singles.
H: My god! I love America!
D: These girls are awfully hot…Don’t tell Lou I was here. Okay?
H: I won’t if you promise never to bring her up again while I have a hard-on.

P2: Hurley points to a girl across the club giving lap dances. Deadman follows his gaze.
H: Check that chick out.
D: What exactly is she doing with her ass?
H: It’s like she’s clapping with her cheeks

P3: They continue staring in amazement.
D: How the hell does she keeping slapping them together like that?
H: I don’t know, but I’m gonna find out!

P4: The dancer comes by Hurley and Deadman in her round of the room. Deadman looks at Hurley, and utter embarassment covers his face.
Stripper: Either of you fellas like a lap dance?
H: I would if you’d do that trick with your ass for me…
H: on my nose!

The New Tuesday Tradition Continues (All Class 5)

All Class - Episode Five - Lou-Lou’s Mom Has Got It Going On

P1: Louise and Hurley sit outside at a coffee shop.
L: My mom is meeting us here, please don’t hit on her.
H: C’mon Louise, you know me better than that.
L: I’m serious, she’s pretty hot, and I hate it when my friends hit on her.
H: Fine! Fine! I promise.

P2: An attractive woman approaches the table, and Hurley jumps up to greet her.
Woman: Hurley, how are you doing today?
H: Hey there, sexy lady! What are you doin’ here?

P3: Confusion covers Hurley’s face as the woman turns to Louise.
W: I just came out to meet my little Lou-Lou for lunch.
H: Little Lou-Lou?

P4: Louise and her mother hug, Louise looks over her mother, and gives Hurley the death glare. Hurley stares on in wide eyed amazement.
L: Hi mom. I guess you and Hurley have already met.

All Class, as promised (All Class 4)

All Class - Episode Four - This Totally Could Have Been An Abe and George Strip


P1: Hurley and Deadman are walking out of the movie theatre, the poster in the background indicates that they’ve just seen “See No Evil”, starring WWE superstar Kane.
H: That was fucking terrible.
D: I thought it was a pretty original horror film

P2: From a different angle we can see down the hall that Hurley and Deadman are passing. A hot blonde is approaching them, Deadman takes notice. Hurley is so enwrapped in his diatribe that he doesn’t see her, and rips a huge fart, even as he talks.
H: How was that original?
SFX: BRRRRAPT
H: It was a Friday the 13th movie, with a different lead character.
SFX: BBBBRRAPT
H: And I’m talkin’ like “Jason Goes To Hell”, not a good one.
SFX: B-B-B-BRR-BRRAPT


P3: Deadman looks shocked . Hurley keeps walking along as if nothing happened.
D: Jesus man! Did you even see that girl coming up beside us?
H: No, was she hot?
D: Yes!


P4: Deadman hollers over his shoulder at the girl. Deadman looks completely mortified.
H: THERE’S MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM SWEET THING!



...And speaking of Abe and G-Dub...



Don't forget to stop by and say hi if you're in Chi-town this weekend. I'll have copies of the second printing of the sold out Abe and G-Dub #1, with a new alternate variant cover. Also available will be the brand spankin' new Abe and G-Dub #2! Either book is only 1 stinkin' buck! Last, but certainly not least, available only at my table... FREE HIGH FIVES!

See you there.
HURLEY

Here I go again... (All Class 3)

My Dad always said, "Excuses are like assholes, everybody's got one." A lot of dads say "excuses are like elbows...", but my dad didn't mince words. When you think about it, elbows doesn't even make sense. Everybody's got one? No, everybody's got two. Assholes is definitely the correct term.

I've been working something like 60 hours a week lately, and everything else has suffered. It kind of sucks, but this week I got my first 120+ hour paycheck, and I felt a lot better about it. Hopefully, all of the extra moola will be enough to get me to San Diego and Chicago this year.

I think the main thing holding me back from posting more often is that I really don't know what it is I'm trying to do with this thing. I can post my thoughts on the stupid shit I tend to think about, or tell little anecdotal stories, but I don't think anybody really cares. Oh well, until I figure something else out, that's what it'll be. That, and, of course, new "All Class" strips, like this one.


All Class - Episode Three - Online Dating

P1: Hurley sits at dinner in a nice restaurant with Deadman and his longtime girlfriend, Louise.
H: …and the only thing worse than that is online dating.
H: Nothing pisses me off more than somebody saying how in love they are with their online girlfriend.

P2: Hurley keeps up his diatribe, as Deadman begins to look uncomfortable. Louise has crossed her arms, and looks mighty unhappy.
H: I mean, how can you even know what a person’s like when you’ve never met them?
H: Which makes me wonder what the phrase “We met online” means.

P3: Hurley is shocked as Louise jumps from her seat, and screams in his face. Deadman leans back and covers his face in embarassment.
H: You can’t meet a person, unless you see them…
L: WE MET ONLINE YOU ASSHOLE!!!

P4: Hurley still looks shocked. Louise is leaned across the table, giving Hurley the death glare.
H: Really!?
D: Dude, I specifically told you that before we came out tonight.

That's all for now kids,
Later

Two weeks!?! (All Class 2)

Yeah, okay, so i'm not real good at this timeliness thing, or this proper grammar thing, but I'm back!

I wish I had more time to post, but my friend Peter just called and told me he'd been bit on the head by a spider. God only knows how that happened, but now I have to go to work early so he can head to the emergency room. The pansy.

The one thing I really wanted to get posted was this


All Class - Episode Two - It Must Be All The Hormones They Feed The Cows

P1: Hurley is talking to an attractive young woman. He leans on the wall next to her, and is obviously putting his mack on.
H: How you doin’?

P2: Deadman walks up with an equally attractive, equally young looking woman.
D: Hey Hurley, I want you to meet my sister Cindy.
D: I see you’ve already met my niece, Brittany.

P3: Cindy talks to her daughter, as Hurley looks on in horror, and Deadman gives him a death glare.
C: Hey sweetie, you got your homework done, right?
B: Yes, mom.

P4: Hurley looks at Deadman, who keeps up his death glare.
H: Mom?
D: Fourteen, asshole, fourteen.

See ya'll on the flipside,
HURLEY

The "All Class" Premiere! (All Class 1)

All I've got for you folks today is the first installment of my previously mentioned webcomic with no pictures, All Class. It's all about the adventures of Hurley, and his best friend Deadman. Some of it's based on real occurrences, most of it's not. Enjoy.

All Class - Strip One - I'm Gonna Be A Big Star

P1: Hurley lays on the bare ground, drunk off of his ass, whiskey bottle still in hand. Deadman stands over him looking down in disgust.
D: Dude, couldn’t you have passed out in the back yard so no one could see you.

P2: Hurley points into the sky.
H: That’s a big fuckin’ star, man!

P3: Deadman looks up to where Hurley is pointing.
NO DIALOG

P4: Deadman looks back down at Hurley, even more disgusted than before.
D: That’s the moon.
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Thanks for stopping by, we'll see ya next time.
HURLEY

Seriously this time, seriously.

Here we are again... Me, trying to start blogging on a regular basis. You, still not reading this at all or giving a damn what I say. Damn, it's good to be back.

The exercise part of the blog
So, lately I've been trying to get some exercise. Normally, this wouldn't be anything to make light of, but I am a fat, lazy fucker, who's never made a concerted effort toward getting in shape before. Thus far, I haven't had a whole lot of progress, but I did reach one of my low level goals this week. This past Friday, I ran a mile (on the treadmill), one whole mile without stopping. Once again, probably not something most people would bother mentioning, but it's the first time I've ever done it, and I must admit, I'm quite proud of me.

On to other things
I've got some projects coming up that I'm very excited about, mostly because I can honestly say that I have things "in the pipeline" for the first time. I'll give you some particulars, and even a preview image in my next entry!

I'm not sure if it's a rip off, but...
Within the next week I'm going to start an online strip in the style of Benito Cereno's Benito Cereno, Hug Salesman. Basically, it's the script of a webcomic without pictures. My little diddy will be called "All Class". People ask me all the time (but not really), "What does the A in Jason A. Hurley stand for?". This comic is my answer, it's all about the goofy situations I've gotten myself into over the years, and th enormous amount of class I've shown in them. Should be fun.

That's all for now, hopefully I'll get back to this thing in a reasonable amount of time, and post something super cool.

Peace out, Hurley.