Sunday, April 19, 2009

I kind of hate rain

I know it helps plants grow, and is essential to all life on earth, and blah, blah, blah. I just think rain is kinda lame sometimes. Especially right now, because the wipers are broken on my POS car. I can fix them pretty easily if I get out to a junk yard and find the part, but I'm incredibly lazy. Thus far I've been pretty lucky. Everytime I've needed to drive somewhere the rain has stopped for at least a little while. Of course, now that I've posted something about it, I'm sure I'll have to drive to work today in a torrential downpour.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Open your mind!

So, I'm watching Total Recall. If you haven't watched this movie, you really should. Not just because I'm about to spoil the hell out of it, but because it is totally bad ass. After you've watched Arnie kick the shit out of some mutant Martians, watch the commentary, it is equally awesome, and I'm also about to spoil the shit out of it as well.

So, you're back right? And you watched the commentary? Good, now check this out, it's got nothing to do with what I'm about to talk about, but it's friggin' hilarious.

Now, let's assume that the whole movie is pretty much just the brain trip that Rekal sends Quaid on, and as soon as the credits roll he wakes up in their offices. He's just had the most awesome virtual vacation ever, and he's about to head home. To his wife. Who, in his mind, just tried to shoot him in their own home, told him their marriage was a sham, and was killed by the girl of his dreams. That's pretty fucked up right there. This poor bastard is going to second guess everything in his life (remember his best friend tried to kill him in his fantasy vacation too) all because he opted for the bonus package.

Seriously, that's just fucked up.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Wildstorm World's End

Just a short post to start getting back into the swing of things.

If you aren't reading the new line of Wildstorm Universe books, you should start. The whole universe is currently contained in only four books (Authority, Wildcats, Stormwatch PHD, and Gen 13), which are being released one a week. Not only does this allow for a tight cohesive universe, but it doesn't stretch the wallet too much.
The new concept "World's End" is exactly what it sounds like. At the end of Number of the Beast, the world was essentially destroyed by a group of clones based on The High (yeah, the guy from the Ellis Stormwatch run. Awesome, right?) go nuclear all around the earth. Now, the majority of humanity is dead, and the world is caught in the destruction and fallout. Running through each of the books, there's also a series of four part back up stories focusing on individual members of Team 7, which seem to be leading to a bigger story involving all of the books. All in all the Wildstorm universe is really starting to rock, and quickly becoming the books I look forward to most each week.

Friday, March 28, 2008

These are a few of my favorite things

The best thing about Spring? It's got nothing to do with all of the flowers blooming, I can tell you that. All the pollen in the air just makes me sneeze. Fuck flowers. No, the best thing about Spring is driving around with the windows down. Not only do you get to have the wind blow through your hair as you cruise around, but you can yell at other people about their horrible driving, and they can actually hear you. If you're super lucky, they'll be driving around with the windows down too, and holler back. Just yesterday I cursed at a dumbass in a huge truck who honked at me for using a four way stop correctly, and then we exchanged fuck yous. It was delightful. I love Spring.

Friday, March 21, 2008

OMG Y'all!! I Am So Sick 4 Rlz!

I could have sworn it was the creeping black death coming to get me, but it turns out it's only pneumonia. I seriously think this may be the sickest I've been in my entire adult life. When I was younger I was sick quite a bit, but as an adult? Not so much.

The best thing about being sick is getting medical advise from all of your friends. Of course, everyone tells you to rest up and drink plenty of water (apparently assuming that you've never had a cough before, and would be lost without them), or recommends their favorite over the counter cold killer. Every once in a while though, you get a weird one. This time? Garlic. One of the guys I work with actually told me that garlic is the "natural enemy" of pneumonia. I can't help but imagine garlic and pneumonia running wild in the open fields of the world before modern ,man, skipping hand in hand until they both realized they had a crush on Lucinda Lou, the cave girl next door. Pnemonia decided that if he couldn't have fair young Lucy, then noone could, and attacked her lungs with unmatched fury. Luckily for Lucy Lou, the noble garlic saw what his former friend had done, and sacrificed himself to knock the pneumonia from her body. Naturally, despite the fact that they used to be the best of friends, for eons, they have been enemies.

Current mood: Sick, duh.
Current listening: Electric Six - I Shall Exterminate Everything Around Me That Restricts Me From Being The Master (Thanks to Fraction for putting it in my head that I should listen to this awesome album again.)

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

It's been a while, huh?

I've been busy with about a million and a half things lately, and I'm also incredibly lazy, so I haven't posted in quite some time. This return post isn't going to be my longest ever, but hopefully it will signal a return to more regular posts. I'm hoping to get some writing, and art done in the near future, so expect to see something on that here. Also, what with the stress of HurleyCon behind me (It was awesome, btw), I should be able to get back into my Gladiator training.
That's it for now, peace out folks.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

The Death Pool = Big Fun

Marlan, a buddy of mine, is running a "Death Pool" for 2008. Basically, you send in 50 names of famous to semi-famous people, and 10 bucks, before the 31st, and you're entered. For every person on your list that dies in 2008, you get points. At the end of the year, whoever has the most points gets all the money.

Marlan is a reputable guy, who's done this pool several times before. If you're interested, I'm sending him a paypal payment for my entry on the 31st, and if you can get me the cash (or a solid guarantee if I know you well enough), I'll send yours as well.

Here's the full rules via Marlan:

Rules of the Death Pool:Each player selects 50 names. The pool of all names selected by all the participating players is called the Master List. (Living people only; no animals, cartoons, comic strip characters, etc.) The deadline for entries for the 2008 Death Pool is midnight (PST), Monday, December 31th, 2007. Each player's list must be submitted to Marlan Harris before the deadline to be considered eligible for play. $10 must accompany your entry. Payment in cash or by personal check is acceptable. Payment by Paypal is also acceptable -- e-mail Mar for details.An indecipherable or confusing name will be considered to be the closest and most logical name available (for example, "P. Diddy" would be considered to be Sean "Puffy"/"Diddy" Combs). A proper, legal name is not necessary as long as that is the way the person is popularly known (for example, Eazy E).Submission of the list can be done in person or sent by e-mail. A typed, numbered, and alphabetized list is preferable but a handwritten list is also acceptable as long as it is legible. Submission of your list to the Death Pool head is considered final and you will be unable to change your list after you submit it. In the event of doubling of names in the same list, the extra name will be discarded and a replacement will not be requested or accepted once the list is submitted. In the event of a list submitted with more than 50 names, the last names on the list after the first 50 will be discarded and replacements will not be requested or accepted once the list is submitted. In the event of a person on the submitted list already being dead, the name will be discarded and a replacement will not be requested or accepted once the list is submitted. In the event of the death of a person on the submitted list occuring between when the list is submitted and the contest officially begins, a replacement name will be accepted.The duration of the Death Pool is from January 1 through December 31 of the year 2008. When a death is mentioned in Time, Newsweek, The Hollywood Reporter, Daily Variety, and/or People publications, the name of the deceased is checked against the Master List. If there is a "Hit" in the Master List, each player who picked the "Hit" is awarded points. More than one player is allowed to select the same "Hit" and each will receive the full amount of points regardless of how many picked players the same name. Deaths are also checked against the Dead People Server, which will be at are calculated as follows: 100 minus the "Hit's" age. For example: When Ronald Regan died, he was 93 years old; he was worth 7 points. When Ol' Dirty Bastard died, he was 35 years old; he was worth 65 points. If the "Hit" is 100 years old or older, zero points are awarded. A death must be featured in Time, Newsweek, The Hollywood Reporter, Daily Variety, and/or People magazines or appear on the Dead People Server for points to be awarded. The date of death must occur within the duration of play (regardless of when the death is announced). Time of death will be determined by the time zone of the location of death (for deaths occurring on December 31st). Deaths must be published in Time, Newsweek, The Hollywood Reporter, Daily Variety, and/or People magazines or appear on the Dead People Server on or before January 15th the following year in order to score points. The player with the most points at the end of the duration of the Death Pool is the winner. In the event of a tie, the tie breaker will be the player that has the youngest "Hit". If all of the tied players have the youngest "Hit", the next youngest "Hit" in succession will be the tie breaker, and so on. If the players each had the exact same "Hits," then the players will share the winnings, divided equally among them.The winner, decided by a panel of judges at the end of the duration of the Death Pool, wins the total amount of money contributed by all players. The exact amount depends on the number of players. There will be a web page which will list the current point standings of players and Master List and the address of that page will be provided to all players once play begins. The page will be updated with near-disconcerting frequency.Please feel free to distribute this to more people and invite as many other players as you can, as long as they get their list and $10 to Marlan before the appointed deadline and abide by these rules.Failure or refusal to abide by the rules above will be grounds for ejection of the player from the game. All disputes will be settled by the person(s) running the Death Pool and decisions will be deemed final.To participants of the previous year(s): please submit a new list just like you were a new player coming into the contest. You may use some, all, or none of the names you have already used in previous lists. If you participated in last year's bout, you can also request that your list from last year be rolled over without submitting a full list but only if no changes are made.50 names. 10 bucks. By December 31. That's it. That's all you have to do.If you have any questions, contact Marlan at your overly conversative/dull girlfriend/wife doesn't have to know you're involved in this. You can play under a different name. And you can still enjoy all the money you've won at the end of the competition all the same and she won't ever have to know.)

Friday, November 23, 2007

Turkey Day

Well, I'm sitting here at the Kansas City Airport, witing for my flight home, thinking about how I never get a blog done despite my best intentions. Then, it dawns on me that the airport may have free wi-fi, and indeed they do, so here we are.
I left home on Wednesday evening, after a great comic day that saw the release of a new Goon Hardcover OGN, the first issue of the new Hawaiian Dick ongoing series, and the third Fourth World Omnibus. I headed to the airport only to find that my simple 40 minute flight was delayed by almost 2 hrs (making faster for me to just drive, but hey, such is life). Luckily working at the airport gives me a distinct advantage over the other stranded passengers, as I simply headed down to the fire station to watch a little Ninja Warrior (which, if you've never seen it, is one of the most amazing shows on cable TV), while I waited fro the plane to arrive.
The flight itself was nothing special, but I struck up a conversation with a leggy blonde (who's name I unfortunately never got) in the security area. Ah, security, that was interesting. Before I tell you about the "random" pat downs, let me give you a rundown of the 8 people on the flight.

The cute leggy blonde
A very sweet old white lady
A middle aged white businessman
and four Oriental guys who spoke very little English on their way to Vegas.

Four of the eight of us got "random" checks. Any guesses on who? Now, please understand this is not a reflection of the TSA in Joplin, they're all fine folks who I count among my personal friends. I know how their screening processes work, and the pat downs (selectees, they call them, apparently that's less offensive than foreigners) are assigned by a computer long before the local TSA officers ever see a passenger list. This a national problem, and I know I'm not the only one that's noticed.

*steps down, puts away soap box*

Upon my arrival in KC, my parents met me at the airport, and whisked me away to a great Indian restaraunt called Swagat in Zona Rosa. We ordered the "dinner for thre", since there were three of us and all, but it turned out to be a lot more like a dinner for six, and we ended up with a ton of leftovers. The food was exceptionally good, particularly the lamb curry. Once we got back to the house, Dad hit the hay, and Mom and I stayed up to watch The Class of Nuke 'Em High. My Mom has always been highly accepting of my love of bad movies, but has taken a particular interest in Troma films since my Redneck Zombies short story (with art from the often mediocre Jeremy Haun) was published in the recent Lloyd Kaufman Presents The Toxic Avenger and Other Tromatic Tales GN(plug, plug!)

Well, that's Wednesday at least. My computer's about to die, and we should be boarding soon, so I better cut this off. More later though, I promise.

Peace out.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

It's just barely Wednesday, Gimme a Break (All Class 9)

All Class - Episode Nine - Porn, ‘Nuff Said

P1: Deadman and Hurley sit and watch the tube, as Louise comes storming out of the bedroom.
L: Hey Deadman, guess what I found in the DVD player this morning.
H: Busted!

P2: Louise screams her accusations at Deadman, while Hurley tries in vain to stifle his laughter.
L: Porn! I found porn, D! What? I’m suddenly not enough for you?
H: Pfft.
L: Stay out of it, Hurley!

P3: Louise looks at Hurley in shock as he launches into a diatribe. Deadman, as usual covers his face, ashamed that his best friend is such a colossal douche.
H: Actually, Lou, I think I can explain Deadman’s feelings on this one.
H: Every once in a while a guy has an urge to see a little blonde get blasted in the ass by a gigantic black dude. Since you’re not the kind of girl who enjoys getting her ass blasted, and DM’s not a big black man, he has to satisfy those urges some other way.

P4: Louise holds up a copy of “Big Black Ass Blasters Vol. 9”
L: This is yours isn’t it.
H: Of course.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Tuesday, TUESDAY, Tuesday (All Class 8)

All Class - Episode Eight - Another Your Mom Joke

P1: Deadman walks in the front door, just home from work, and Hurley calls to him from the couch.
H: Hey dude, your mom called.
D: All right, thanks.

P2: Deadman sits on the couch, Hurley stares at him, feeling dejected.

P3: Deadman rolls his eyes as Hurley speaks.
H: You’re supposed to ask me what she wanted.

P4: Same, but Hurley’s yelling.
D: Fine, what’d she wa..

Tuesday, September 04, 2007


Much as like this whole blog thing, I just don't have time to regularly post right at the moment. I still plan on posting a new "All Class" strip every week (btw I've added a tag section to the side bar to make it nice and easy to find all of the past strips), but other than that, I don't know how much I'll be on here.

However, I have discovered the glory of TWITTER, it's an awesome tool. It's mega easy to update, and you can update via IM or text updates from your phone. You can check out my five latest twitters over in the sidebar, or you can follow me via you're own twitter account. Also, if you follow me, I promise I'll follow you back.

I'm not saying I'll never update here, I'm just saying it won't be terribly often (not that it ever was).

Peace out,

So I missed a Tuesday. Sue me. (All Class 7)

All Class - Episode Seven - Line up

P1: Hurley stands in line for the bathroom chatting with the guy behind him.
Dude: Aw man, one holer, huh?
H: Nope.

P2: Hurley turns to face the other dude. Behind him the bathroom finally opens up.
H: There’s two in there, but they’re more than a little close.

P3: Hurley enters the bathroom, and calls back over his shoulder.
H: I’ll squeeze over if you wanna man up.

P4: The door swings shut behind Hurley, and no one follows.

Monday, August 27, 2007


I drink, therefore I man.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Lazy Sunday, My Ass

Today, I'm headed to the library. It is resarch time, for there is a big exciting project on the horizon. I haven't been to the library in years. Lately my research has consisted almost completely of Google and Wikipedia searches. I'm convinced that getting back to the library, and doing actual research in real books is a very good thing. We'll see how it turns out.

Tonight, I watch WWE Summerslam on Pay-Per-View. I also drink.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

It's Tuesday, And I Think We All Know What That Means. (All Class 6)

All Class - Episode Six - In Da Club

P1: Hurley and Deadman sit at a swanky strip club watching the stage show. Deadman sits back sipping on his drink. Hurley leans forward for a better look, clutching a fistful of singles.
H: My god! I love America!
D: These girls are awfully hot…Don’t tell Lou I was here. Okay?
H: I won’t if you promise never to bring her up again while I have a hard-on.

P2: Hurley points to a girl across the club giving lap dances. Deadman follows his gaze.
H: Check that chick out.
D: What exactly is she doing with her ass?
H: It’s like she’s clapping with her cheeks

P3: They continue staring in amazement.
D: How the hell does she keeping slapping them together like that?
H: I don’t know, but I’m gonna find out!

P4: The dancer comes by Hurley and Deadman in her round of the room. Deadman looks at Hurley, and utter embarassment covers his face.
Stripper: Either of you fellas like a lap dance?
H: I would if you’d do that trick with your ass for me…
H: on my nose!

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Stickin' wit' it.


Today, the plan was to review a couple of new books, and post my Chicago con report. Life, however, decided that would be a bad idea. After I locked myself out of the house yesterday while I was hanging laundry (don't ask), I went to hang out at Haun's house, watch a movie, and play with his kid. On the way home, the real trouble started.

I was driving along rocking out to a little Arctic Monkeys, when suddenly my CD player just stopped. As I was examining the player, and by examining I mean hitting it in hopes that that would turn it back on, all of my cabin lights went dim, and so did my head lights. The battery was pretty much dead by the time I got home, but what could I do about at 2 in the damn morning? Today, I woke up early to go pick up the new comic shipment, and the car started up just fine. Crisis averted right? Wrong. About halfway to UPS the lights all dimmed again. "Well," I says to myself, "just leave it running when you stop, and worry about it when you get back home." Obvious solution right? I mean, the car can't run out of electricity while it's running right? Double wrong. I parked, things seemed fine. I began filling out my money order, and things weren't so fine anymore. The car ground to a halt, and absolutely refused to turn back on (the bastard). I ended up walking home from the UPS station, lugging a box of comics with me, an cursing the world.

Jeremy was nice enough to take me to retrieve the car this afternoon, and give it a jump, so I could make it to the Autozone (that short trip was a whole other story, which I won't tell here, since it'll scare my mom) where they informed me that the battery was dead because the alternator was dead. Basically, I've been running the car completely off of the battery, and the engine hasn't been recharging it as it runs like it's supposed to. The moral of the story? Hurley needs to learn more about cars.

Tomorrow, a short review of The Bourne Ultimatum, and maybe that con report.

Til then,

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

The New Tuesday Tradition Continues (All Class 5)

All Class - Episode Five - Lou-Lou’s Mom Has Got It Going On

P1: Louise and Hurley sit outside at a coffee shop.
L: My mom is meeting us here, please don’t hit on her.
H: C’mon Louise, you know me better than that.
L: I’m serious, she’s pretty hot, and I hate it when my friends hit on her.
H: Fine! Fine! I promise.

P2: An attractive woman approaches the table, and Hurley jumps up to greet her.
Woman: Hurley, how are you doing today?
H: Hey there, sexy lady! What are you doin’ here?

P3: Confusion covers Hurley’s face as the woman turns to Louise.
W: I just came out to meet my little Lou-Lou for lunch.
H: Little Lou-Lou?

P4: Louise and her mother hug, Louise looks over her mother, and gives Hurley the death glare. Hurley stares on in wide eyed amazement.
L: Hi mom. I guess you and Hurley have already met.

Monday, August 13, 2007


This weekend, comic artist Mike Wieringo passed away. I never had the opportunity to meet the man, but by all accounts, he was a delightful human being. I've always admired his art, and just yesterday Haun, Clay, and I were talking about the excellence of the expressive eyes he out on Spider-Man. Here's a well-wish to all of his friends, and family. The industry has lost a modern master, and he will be sorely missed.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

...And off to Chicago I go!

I may not be able to post for the next few days, assuming I don't find a free network to hop on. In the mean time, watch this here durn funny video.

Peace out,

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

All Class, as promised (All Class 4)

All Class - Episode Four - This Totally Could Have Been An Abe and George Strip

P1: Hurley and Deadman are walking out of the movie theatre, the poster in the background indicates that they’ve just seen “See No Evil”, starring WWE superstar Kane.
H: That was fucking terrible.
D: I thought it was a pretty original horror film

P2: From a different angle we can see down the hall that Hurley and Deadman are passing. A hot blonde is approaching them, Deadman takes notice. Hurley is so enwrapped in his diatribe that he doesn’t see her, and rips a huge fart, even as he talks.
H: How was that original?
H: It was a Friday the 13th movie, with a different lead character.
H: And I’m talkin’ like “Jason Goes To Hell”, not a good one.

P3: Deadman looks shocked . Hurley keeps walking along as if nothing happened.
D: Jesus man! Did you even see that girl coming up beside us?
H: No, was she hot?
D: Yes!

P4: Deadman hollers over his shoulder at the girl. Deadman looks completely mortified.

...And speaking of Abe and G-Dub...

Don't forget to stop by and say hi if you're in Chi-town this weekend. I'll have copies of the second printing of the sold out Abe and G-Dub #1, with a new alternate variant cover. Also available will be the brand spankin' new Abe and G-Dub #2! Either book is only 1 stinkin' buck! Last, but certainly not least, available only at my table... FREE HIGH FIVES!

See you there.

Monday, August 06, 2007

I'm really not too good at this...

Regular posts suck. Sporadic posts rule!

Or maybe I'm just lazy.

I went to San Diego last week, just like 1.2 billion other people, and had a pretty damn good time. I didn't get nearly enough sleep, I drank WAY too much (at least that one night I did), and I was sick by the time I left for home, but I got a work offer, sold a couple mini comics, and met a couple personal heroes, so I'd call it a win.

Tomorrow, seriously, a new All Class strip. Hopefully, it will become a Tuesday tradition.

I have seen a copy of the new Troma comic anthology, and have been assured it will hit comic shops this month. More on that come release.

I'm heading to Chicago this weekend for the big con with Clay Moore, and Jeremy Haun. You can find us, and other fine folks, against the back wall of artist alley.

Til' then kids


Saturday, June 02, 2007

Here I go again... (All Class 3)

My Dad always said, "Excuses are like assholes, everybody's got one." A lot of dads say "excuses are like elbows...", but my dad didn't mince words. When you think about it, elbows doesn't even make sense. Everybody's got one? No, everybody's got two. Assholes is definitely the correct term.

I've been working something like 60 hours a week lately, and everything else has suffered. It kind of sucks, but this week I got my first 120+ hour paycheck, and I felt a lot better about it. Hopefully, all of the extra moola will be enough to get me to San Diego and Chicago this year.

I think the main thing holding me back from posting more often is that I really don't know what it is I'm trying to do with this thing. I can post my thoughts on the stupid shit I tend to think about, or tell little anecdotal stories, but I don't think anybody really cares. Oh well, until I figure something else out, that's what it'll be. That, and, of course, new "All Class" strips, like this one.

All Class - Episode Three - Online Dating

P1: Hurley sits at dinner in a nice restaurant with Deadman and his longtime girlfriend, Louise.
H: …and the only thing worse than that is online dating.
H: Nothing pisses me off more than somebody saying how in love they are with their online girlfriend.

P2: Hurley keeps up his diatribe, as Deadman begins to look uncomfortable. Louise has crossed her arms, and looks mighty unhappy.
H: I mean, how can you even know what a person’s like when you’ve never met them?
H: Which makes me wonder what the phrase “We met online” means.

P3: Hurley is shocked as Louise jumps from her seat, and screams in his face. Deadman leans back and covers his face in embarassment.
H: You can’t meet a person, unless you see them…

P4: Hurley still looks shocked. Louise is leaned across the table, giving Hurley the death glare.
H: Really!?
D: Dude, I specifically told you that before we came out tonight.

That's all for now kids,

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Now That Is Fucking Teamwork

Greetings all, and welcome to another exciting adventure from my boring, mundane existence.

Today, I'm at work mowing, and bored out of my fucking mind. I'm working a little overtime to help pay some bills, and finance my trip to San Diego for the Comicon. For those of you who don't know, I work maintenance at the local airport, so overtime consists almost solely of mowing grass on the airfield. It's really not that bad, I ride around in a big John Deere tractor, pulling a bushhog around. The tractor's air conditioned, and it has a radio, so comfort isn't a problem, it all comes down to boredom. I drive around in circles for hours, it's like the slowest one-man NASCAR race in history. It's a seemingly endless spiral, round and round the same damn field, with the same damn shit to look at over and over.

Enough bitching though, right? Today, as I'm driving around, there's this hawk that keeps dropping down from his perch and sitting in my damn way. At first I thought he was pissed at me for invading his turf, but he always went back up in the air long before I got to him. Eventually, I realised he was waiting for me to kick up some food for him. We've got a pretty bad mole problem at the airport, and I gotta admit I wouldn't be the least bit sad to see this hawk choke a few of them down. So the next time I came around I made sure to drop a tire right over the top of a mole burrow, and send the little bastards running.

Only one mole came out, and I saw him take off across the field. He only made it about 20 ft. before my boy, the hawk, came swooping down and snatched his ass up. It was awesome. I've never wanted to high five an animal so much in my life.

What I'm doing tonight
Watching: Shaft (It's research, I never realized how incredibly long that opening sequence is, it fuckin' rocks)
Eating: Grilled cheese with pickles and mustard (yes, I really do eat those)
Drinking: McCormack and Coke (McCormack is incredibly cheap whisky{My mom always said, "McCormack isn't whiskey, it's watered down Everclear and food coloring."[Yes, these are the kind of wisdom nuggets my mother dispenses]})

Man, do I love parentheticals.

I'm gonna go get drunk now,

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Two weeks!?! (All Class 2)

Yeah, okay, so i'm not real good at this timeliness thing, or this proper grammar thing, but I'm back!

I wish I had more time to post, but my friend Peter just called and told me he'd been bit on the head by a spider. God only knows how that happened, but now I have to go to work early so he can head to the emergency room. The pansy.

The one thing I really wanted to get posted was this

All Class - Episode Two - It Must Be All The Hormones They Feed The Cows

P1: Hurley is talking to an attractive young woman. He leans on the wall next to her, and is obviously putting his mack on.
H: How you doin’?

P2: Deadman walks up with an equally attractive, equally young looking woman.
D: Hey Hurley, I want you to meet my sister Cindy.
D: I see you’ve already met my niece, Brittany.

P3: Cindy talks to her daughter, as Hurley looks on in horror, and Deadman gives him a death glare.
C: Hey sweetie, you got your homework done, right?
B: Yes, mom.

P4: Hurley looks at Deadman, who keeps up his death glare.
H: Mom?
D: Fourteen, asshole, fourteen.

See ya'll on the flipside,

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

The "All Class" Premiere! (All Class 1)

All I've got for you folks today is the first installment of my previously mentioned webcomic with no pictures, All Class. It's all about the adventures of Hurley, and his best friend Deadman. Some of it's based on real occurrences, most of it's not. Enjoy.

All Class - Strip One - I'm Gonna Be A Big Star

P1: Hurley lays on the bare ground, drunk off of his ass, whiskey bottle still in hand. Deadman stands over him looking down in disgust.
D: Dude, couldn’t you have passed out in the back yard so no one could see you.

P2: Hurley points into the sky.
H: That’s a big fuckin’ star, man!

P3: Deadman looks up to where Hurley is pointing.

P4: Deadman looks back down at Hurley, even more disgusted than before.
D: That’s the moon.
Thanks for stopping by, we'll see ya next time.

Monday, April 23, 2007

Mash it, mash it real good

Hurley gets Tromatized!

Here it is folks! The preview I promised yesterday of my first published story!

I wrote a 10 page story for the new Troma Anthology coming out soon from Devil's Due, based on their movie Redneck Zombies. The story will be illustrated by my close personal friend, Jeremy Haun. It's got everything you could possibly want in a comic (particularly a Troma comic) boobs, slapstick, and the walking dead!

What the hell is that blog title all about?

Today I found a thread on Matt Fraction's Image Comics Message Board about music, and happened upon a link to The Best of Bootie 2006. It's a collection of some of the best Mash-Ups of the year. In case you've been living under a rock (or in a backward ass country like Australia) and don't know what a mash up is, it's pretty simply two songs mashed together. Generally it's the lyrics of one song laid over the beats of another, but sometimes it's a crazy medley of tons of stuff.
I have a serious love for mash-ups, and I'll download just about anything that has even one artist I've heard of in it. There's some really good stuff on the Bootie collection, and their page contains links to the pages of all the participating DJs.

I think I might watch too much TV
I watched the first season of The Wire this past week, and I must say, it didn't thrill me. It's an interesting show, and I really like the concept, but it's slow. Really slow. I know that if I had seen the first episode on TV, I wouldn't have tuned in the next week. Since I had it on DVD though, I watched the whole season, but I don't think I'll be sitting through season 2.
The question, really, is "Is TV on DVD a good thing or a bad thing?". I wouldn't have watched this show on TV, but I watched a whole season on DVD. I liked it, but I thought it was overall pretty "blah", and the end of the season wrapped everything up so nicely, I don't feel any need to return to the show.

Whatever. I'm gone.

Seriously this time, seriously.

Here we are again... Me, trying to start blogging on a regular basis. You, still not reading this at all or giving a damn what I say. Damn, it's good to be back.

The exercise part of the blog
So, lately I've been trying to get some exercise. Normally, this wouldn't be anything to make light of, but I am a fat, lazy fucker, who's never made a concerted effort toward getting in shape before. Thus far, I haven't had a whole lot of progress, but I did reach one of my low level goals this week. This past Friday, I ran a mile (on the treadmill), one whole mile without stopping. Once again, probably not something most people would bother mentioning, but it's the first time I've ever done it, and I must admit, I'm quite proud of me.

On to other things
I've got some projects coming up that I'm very excited about, mostly because I can honestly say that I have things "in the pipeline" for the first time. I'll give you some particulars, and even a preview image in my next entry!

I'm not sure if it's a rip off, but...
Within the next week I'm going to start an online strip in the style of Benito Cereno's Benito Cereno, Hug Salesman. Basically, it's the script of a webcomic without pictures. My little diddy will be called "All Class". People ask me all the time (but not really), "What does the A in Jason A. Hurley stand for?". This comic is my answer, it's all about the goofy situations I've gotten myself into over the years, and th enormous amount of class I've shown in them. Should be fun.

That's all for now, hopefully I'll get back to this thing in a reasonable amount of time, and post something super cool.

Peace out, Hurley.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Bitching about the weather, please ignore

How's everybody doin' today? Good, good, glad to here it. Me? I'm cold and miserable, thanks for asking. It's been sleeting for the last three days, and now it's freezing rain. God damned ridiculous. Just gimme some snow. Snow I can deal with. You can scrape snow off of roads, what the fuck can you do with ice? Nothin', that's what. God damned ridiculous.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

My Weekend Adventure Part 5

Tuesday, January 9, 11:10 pm

Here we are two days later, and I think I’m finally going to finish this damned thing. Where were we? Ah, yes, Sunday afternoon.
Jeremy dropped me off at Aunt Patty and Uncle Barry’s (not my aunt and uncle, Tony’s [and a big shout out to them, for letting us crash]) where I met up with Tony and Josh. After I regaled them with stories from the most awesome strip club ever, we headed up stairs for a fine home cooked meal, and as much booze as we could pack in before the show. Dinner consisted of spaghetti, with turkey sausage and marinara sauce, and a portabella mushroom lasagna. The lasagna, I didn’t try due to my extreme dislike of mushrooms, but that turkey sausage was killer.
We drank until our cab showed up (we is safe drinkers), and then got on our way to New Year’s Revolution. Our cabbie was hella cool, he really liked wrestling, and he even agreed to meet us after the show so we didn’t have to try and get somebody else. Once we got in the show we bought some more beers, and jumped in our seats, which just happened to be fucking great. We were about mid way up the first section off the floor, just opposite hard camera (the main camera angle), which means we were probably on TV quite a bit (I haven‘t checked yet), and we had a great view. The show was awesome, it featured a couple of really great matches, including my first live cage match. By the end of the first match, I could already feel my voice slipping from all of the screaming I was doing. I talked to Josh just this morning, and he can barely speak he’s still so hoarse. We started some great chants that seemed to entertain all the people around us, but none of them would join in. At one point Josh and I (Tony was getting more beer) were bowing down to the awesomeness that is Ric Flair, and he pointed into the stands, right at us. All in all it was a great time. A really good show, from the best seats we’ve ever had. After the ride home, we started to watch Idiocracy, but I couldn’t stay awake for it. The next morning Josh and Tony got up, I would follow shortly after noon, and we headed home. I spent most of the car ride typing up Part 4 of this beast, and then we were finally back home. My weekend adventure had ended, but thankfully I have a couple of days to recover from it before I have to head back to work.

My Weekend Adventure Part 4

Monday, January 8, 12:20 pm
Obviously the blog I was trying to keep up completely fell apart. I gotta tell you, I’m not surprised. Most of the time I’m just not that good at keeping up with these things. Despite all that, I’m going to update you on the last couple of days, or at least what I remember of it. Friday wasn’t a terribly exciting day, mostly just hanging out. Jeremy and I had lunch at an Indian buffet and stuffed ourselves silly. After that we hit up a couple of local comic shops, including Pop Culture Comix, and B-Bop Comics. Clint’s Comics is right across the street from B-Bop, and even though it looked like the better shop from what little I saw, we ran short of time and didn’t have time to check it out fully. As we were leaving Pop Culture, I saw the funniest thing I would see all weekend, and probably one of the top ten funniest things I’ve seen in my whole life.
There was an Airsoft BB gun store right next to the comic shop that Jeremy wanted to check out. He ended up talking with the guy that ran for a bout twenty minjutes about all things guns, and purchased a ”Lara Croft Gun” for his photo reference purposes. The front door of the store was a little weird, it actually shared a door to the street, and small vestibule with the store next door, The door to the vestibule had a big plate glass window right next to it, and through said window, the door to the street was plainly visible. As we were leaving, Jeremy was checking the contents of his bag, and walked into the window harder than I’ve ever seen before first person. You know how usually a persons foot hit’s the window first and they realize what they’re about to do and pull back at least a little? Well that didn’t happen at all. Jeremy was bent over a little looking in his bag, and took the full force of his momentum right in the face. I started laughing hysterically, and couldn’t even ask if he was alright. I could see the glass shaking from the impact, and once the vibrations quelled I could make out an oily imprint of Jer’s entire face on the window. He backed up, dazed, and groggily muttered “I’m allright, I’m all right”, which sent me laughing even harder, and we raced out the door. By the time we made it to the car I was laughing so hard I could barely breath, and I was crying quite a bit. Even as I sit here typing, I keep breaking out in fits of laughter, and the other guys in the car keep looking at me weird. Once we were in the car Jeremy told me that he could feel the whole impact in slow mation, as each of his facial features hit the glass. First his eyebrow, which took the brunt of the impact (and ended up with a visible welt), then his glasses being shoved crooked as his nose was crushed sideways, and finaly his mouth and chin making impact just before his reflexes kicked in and he pulled back. I told every single person we ran into for the rest of the weekend about the incident, and could barely contain my laughter with each subsequent retelling.
After all that excitement we went to the Glenwood Arts Theatre to see Perfume, after which my folks took us to Jack Stack for some friggin awesome barbeque. We ended the night by heading to Seth’s house and palying some poker with him, Clay and Tony. Not the most exciting day, but we ate tons, and generally had a good time.
Saturday started early (comparatively), as we hit the road on our way to Astro Kitty in Lawrence, for the big Atomic Revolver coming out party and signing. Atomic Revolver is a loose studio consisting of three writers (Jason Aaron, B. Clay Moore, and Seth Peck), and three artists (Jeremy Haun, Jason Latour, and Tony Moore). Only Latour wasn’t able to make it to the signing (his nomadic ways had led him elsewhere), everyone else was there, pimping their books, and havin’ a good ol’ time. Astro Kitty is a pretty sweet little store. Despite it’s small size it is packed full of stuff, and run by a cool and knowledgeable staff. I dropped Joel (the owner/operator) a few copies of Abe and G-Dub, so if you’re in the Lawrence area, stop by and tell the folks hey, and pick up a copy of my book!
After the signing, we all went out to dinner, before splitting into two distinct groups. Those who wanted to go to a strip club, and those who did not. I, of course, was a member of the former. Five of us ended up going to the club, after the long and arduous task of actually finding it. Our hunt, however, was well worth it. The club we ended up at is called The Outhouse, and it’s not nearly as bad as it’s name might imply. It is, in fact, the coolest strip club that I’ve ever been to. First, it’s a B.Y.O.B. club, that means bring your own booze for the uninitiated. Despite the fact that it’s merely a juice bar, you can literally walk in to the club with a bottle of whiskey in your hand, which I did. The dancers get fully nude on stage, and $20 will get you a topless full touch lap dance, $30 gets a full nude full touch private dance in the back. You might expect, as we did, to find a lot of skanky, ugly chicks at the little club in the middle of nowhere, but just like us, you would be wrong. In fact, most of the girls there had previously worked at the big “classy” joint in Kansas City, before moving it out to the country for the big bucks that full nude brings in. One of the girls in particular was literally the best pole dancer in the state. Seriously, apparently they have statewide competitions for such things, and she won. I honestly have no desire to go to any other strip club again. There’s just no need. After the experience of the Outhouse, no other club will ever measure up.
I woke up Sunday with a little bit of a hangover, but knocked it out quickly with a couple of Redbulls and a cappuccino. Jeremy and I headed over to Clay’s house to pick up a couple of things, and say our goodbyes. Afterward, we headed by PF Chang’s for lunch, and I got some of the strongest ginger beer I’ve ever had. I like ginger, and ginger beer, but this stuff was STRONG. I drank about half of it with no problem, but it got to the point where I had to take a bite of food inbetween swigs, just to give my taste buds a rest. After lunch, we went on another driving quest, this time to find my friend Tony’s aunt and Uncle’s house. It took us about an hour, and at one point we actually ended up on the completely opposite side of town. Eventually we got there (and here’s a big public thank you to Jeremy for running me around all weekend) Jeremy and I parted ways and the second half of my adventure began, but that’s a story for another time.

My Weekend Adventure Part 3

Friday, January 5, 12:15 pm
Last night we watched Berry Gordy’s The Last Dragon, and it was bad. I mean really bad. If you don’t already know, it stars a pair of one-named-no-current-career-havin’ folks. Taimak, and former Prince protégé Vanity. Taimak’s acting, even if intentionally wooden, is beyond bad, but his kung-fu is strong. The only redeeming part of the whole thing was “Sho’nuff, The Shogun of Harlem”, the guy was very charismatic, and had some awesome entrances. He and his entourage hadsome of the best costumes in the flick, even his painted football pads.
We don’t particularly have any plans for today, but it looks like we’re heading to an Indian buffet for lunch, and a movie afterward. Apparently Pan’s Labyrinth isn’t playing in town, so we’re going to see Perfume instead, I think it looks really cool, and I’m excited to see it on the big screen, since I’m almost certain it will never come to Joplin. This evening I’m sure we’ll hang out with Clay, Jason, and Seth, I don’t know what the plan is there, but there was talk of poker last night.
I awoke this morning to the knocking of the maid, and from there Jeremy immediately jumped online to seek out the latest celebrity gossip. Here it is. WARNING!!! This is probably the only time, ever, that you’ll find such things on this blog. Apparently, K-Fed has been trying to hook up with Lindsay Lohan since the break up with Britney. Good old Lindsay though, she’s havin’ none of it. Yes, this is seriously the mind expanding information I started my day with. I hope you feel enlightened.

My Weekend Adventure Part 2

Thursday, January 4, 6:45 pm
Here we are at the hotel, and even though I was hoping to post this blog in somewhat real time, ‘tis not meant to be. The only way to get internet access here is to pay for it, and I’m not paying $10 a day for it here, when I only pay $15 at home for the whole damn month. Regardless, I’ll keep on with the writing, and if I get a chance to post it, I will.
We just left Elite, where Jason Aaron was signing his new book, Scalped. It totally rocks, and you should go out and buy it immediately. Seriously, it’s about a dude on an Indian reservation (The Rez), who starts kicking the local gangster’s asses with his nunchuks. Yeah, nunchuks. Totally fucking awesome.
Now we head to the bar for the after party.

Monday, January 08, 2007

My Weekend Adventure Part 1

Thursday, January 4, 11:55 am
I’ve just arrived at Jeremy’s house, and he’s still upstairs in the shower. I let myself in to the house, hopefully I don’t scare him too bad when he finally gets down here and finds me. We were supposed to meet at noon by the way. I thought about going upstairs after he was done, but then I remembered what happened to Seth, and I decided it would be better to just stay down here.
I thought about doing a 24 hour comic today. Not the kind you do on 24 Hour Comic Day, the other kind. If you don’t know what it is, it’s doing a quick one panel strip every hour in a 24 hour period. I was introduced to the concept by one of the fellas at Stumblebum Studios. It can be put together into a nice little 24 page mini comic. Anyway, I decided not to do it because a) I really don’t think I’m going to be awake for 24 hours, and b) The first hour strip would have just been me looking up internet porn, and nobody wants to see that. Regardless, I’m going to try and do a couple of strips each day American Elf style. I won’t be able to scan and post anything ‘til I get home, but hey, that’s better than nothing, right?
I see that confused look in your eye (I am big brother). “What the hell is this whole Weekend Adventure thing about anyway?” your asking. Well I’ll tell ya. Jeremy Haun and I are heading to Kansas City for a few days. We’ll be hitting Elite Comics in Overland Park today for Jason Aaron’s Scalped signing. Afterward I think there’s some sort of party or something. Friday we don’t have any particular plans, but we’ll probably see some friends, and catch a movie or something (probably Pan’s Labyrinth). Saturday is the big signing that is the main focus of the trip (at least the part where I’m with Jer), a big signing at Astro Kitty Comics in Lawrence Kansas. Jeremy and the aforementioned Jason Aaron will be there, alongside B. Clay Moore, Seth Peck, and Tony Moore. It’s gonna be sweet. On Sunday, Jeremy will be heading home, but I’ll be sticking around KC, and meeting up with my boys Josh and Tony (not Moore) to head to the WWE pay per view New Year’s Revolution. Last I heard we were going to stay in KC Sunday night and come home sometime on Monday.
More later as the mood strikes me.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Dance Dance Revolution and the Battle Haiku

My friend Peter and I have been playing a lot of Dance Dance Revolution lately (we have SuperNova for PS2). It's a lot of fun and a really good aerobic workout. The only problem we had with the game was that it didn't keep track of high scores. I take that back, it does keep the score, it just doesn't let you put in your initials next to it. What's the point of keeping high scores if you can't tell whose is whose, and lord your superior skills over your friends, right? So being insanely competitive, as far as video games go at least, we made a notebook full of blank spreadsheets so that we could keep track of our scores, and mock eachothers poor dance skills. Here's a little example of what I'm talkin' about.

That's the sheet for the song "Funkytown", you'll notice my initials (JAH) by the highest scores, while Peter (PJK) lags behind me. This is true on every song on the Basic level, and all but a couple on the difficult setting. In celebration of this, and in blatant mockery of Peter's dancing skills I left a battle haiku on the front of the score book, which I thought I 'd share with everyone.

A Haiku for Peter

by Jason A. Hurley

Hurley rules Dance Dance

PJK is but a slave

To Hurley's rythm

Tomorrow I'm heading out to the thrift stores. Maybe I'll drop in here and give you all a few pics of the swag I pick up.


Tuesday, November 21, 2006

My First Entry!

Welcome one and all to the brand spankin' new blog of Jason A. Hurley.

Yep, here it is, and I'm only about 4 years behind everybody else (kinda like Canada). I'm still working out exactly what it is I want to do with this thing, but in the mean time let me throw a little art at ya.


Later Folks